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My Voice, My Vow

“I went inside my heart to see how it was. Something there makes me hear the whole world weeping.” - Rumi


Tonight, I cannot sleep. The past few nights have been like this. There is so much unrest in the world caused by so much chaos, so much uncertainty, so much emotional purging, so much injustice, and so much pain...


Tonight, these energies seem to seep through the cracks and into my tiny 600 square foot apartment, preventing me from finding rest as my soul asks, "What can I do to help?"


Like so many others, I have watched the past few weeks from a place of silence as the flames of racism have once again begun boiling over in this country. If we are being honest, we all know this silence has existed not only for weeks, but for years, generations even. This is a silence that has covered the world for so long. A silence which has done no harm in itself, but in continuing has allowed others to continue bringing harm.


Now the paradigm is shifting and I realize our silence is complacency.


Our silence is dangerous.


Our silence drowns out the cries for justice flooding our streets.


Our silence walks past those begging for help, showing them unyielding avoidance and thereby invalidating the pain which is very much alive.


Maybe whoever is reading this is like me. I have not stayed silent for so long because I have no opinion. Quite the opposite, I have stayed silent because of the lies in my mind which tell me my voice does not matter, and I have no right to speak out because I’m white. Why would anyone listen when I have never known what it is like to feel the eyes of a racist burning into my colored skin? If I have not experienced it, I should not say anything, right? Wrong…


My platform may be small, but the voice I share does matter and I have something to say.


I do not know what it feels like to be a black human in this world, and I never will…but you have my attention, I am listening. I see the tears of anger and sadness flowing from your eyes, I hear the words cutting through cord of oppression coming from your mouth, I feel the vibrations of the roar of your protest vibrating in my heart…my heart is where we connect.


My heart is where I feel you.


My heart is where I know something needs to change.


The division brought by racism has been passed down from generation to generation and it is time for it to end.


This problem cannot be rooted out in a single night, a single protest, a single event. Yet, we can decide it ends with us. We can decide to not pass this on to our children, so that one day humanity will know true peace, true love, true community. Can you imagine a world of true acceptance rather than mere tolerance? I can see it...and the journey to get there will be a long one, but what a beautiful place it will be for the future generations.


My heart also knows that words alone are not enough, my voice is not enough unless it is making a vow to help usher in the change our world needs, so here is my vow to you:


My vow to you is whatever negative, biased, hateful, or divisive energy has been carried in my lineage dies with me. I vow my children will be raised to stand against any form of racial, religious, socioeconomic, gender, political, or other division. My children will be encouraged to speak up for those who are being oppressed, and give aid to those who are in need. I vow my children will have the example in their mother of one who shows love and compassion to everyone. I vow I will give my children no reason to fear, fight, or discriminate against your children. I vow this while being rooted in the belief that this action, albeit small, will someday save a life. My children will know love is where we come from, and no man-made barrier can separate us from this truth unless we allow it. This is the role I will fulfill; this is my vow to you.


The heartbreaking thought in my mind right now is, “It’s not enough, how many more will die during this time?” I do not know…but I do know everything we do ripples out across time and causes an effect, and we can use our voices to change the narrative for good…


None of us were born with hate in our hearts. Our souls were formed by the Divine God who is Love. Hatred, division, abuse of power, and violence is the absence of love. Love is what we must return to, this is what we must teach our children, this is what we must pass on to the next generation. To bring long-lasting change, we must break the divisive forces currently at work in our world. If we don’t, who will?


We could weed out racism and every other aspect which divides humanity in a single generation, I truly believe that.


The question is, are you willing to take a stand and say it ends with you?


(A side note for my fellow Christian readers out there – I have been saddened watching your quick and hypocritical change of opinion from praising those who were actively defying the police & government by protesting the virus regulations to now condemning those who are crying their hearts out due to the horrific murders of innocent people. You have every right to share your opinion, but leave it at that…do not bring Jesus or the Bible or God into it because the Jesus I know criticized the religious people for their holier than thou attitudes, became angry and protested in the temple by flipping over tables, and protected “sinners” from the bias of the pious…Jesus was the biblical age rebel you are now condemning. So, share your opinion but do not attempt to justify it in the name of Jesus when it is not something Jesus would actually say or do. You are tarnishing the name of the God you claim to worship when you do this.)



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